You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
