Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
