Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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