she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
