We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
