your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Text me some of your sweat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
