"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize