Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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