i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
