I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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