I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
