FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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