ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
