What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
