I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
