Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize