he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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