What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
