She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How's work?
Spinning.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
