My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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