I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
