I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
