Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
