i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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