if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
