Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
