weddingsv make me drug and hornr
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
