I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize