Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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