for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
