5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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