I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
