were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
