im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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