Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
