I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
