I think I am morally bankrupt
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
