fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
