i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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