Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
