i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
