She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
