how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
