we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize