Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
