My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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