Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
