It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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