Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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