Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize