The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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