He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
