New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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