Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
