i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
