How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
