pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
