dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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