Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I die, sorry about rent.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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