At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
