thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What a dumb baby whore.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
