Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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